Complementary Therapists Association - Forums
Posted by Rose Horwell, Jun 3 2009 12:33PM

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I am having an awful lot of men phone me for massage asking for sensual massage, I thought being entered under a proper association that this would discourage interested parties, this does not seem to be the case!!

Anyone else or is it just me?

Brenda Colton
Jun 3 2009 1:12PM
Hi Rose,
You are not the only one to get this happen, it has happened to me also.
Brenda
Paula Lancaster
Jun 3 2009 1:26PM
Hi Rose

You are not alone, this has happened to me before, although the person did not actually ask for sensual massage, when he was on the couch it was clear that this was what he came for. My experience with this person was very unpleasant and unfortunately it will now preclude decent male clients that now contact me through the website. Had this Forum not been open for public viewing I would have warned fellow therapists of this experience with this male and given his name.

Regards
Paula Lancaster
Angela Rawlins
Jun 3 2009 5:18PM
Hi Paula

Why not report him to your police station? You never know who he has been to or if he has assaulted them.
Paula Lancaster
Jun 3 2009 5:23PM
Hi Angela

Luckily for me I have several clients in the Police Force and he has been checked out, but nothing has been found.

Regards

Paula Lancaster
Angela Rawlins
Jun 4 2009 8:55AM
Well, hopefully they will keep his name on file for future use.
Joy Healey
Jun 4 2009 2:12PM
I had one enquiry that was very straight and to the point....

I was offering "Life Coaching" and he asked

"Does it include sex?" !!!!!

Well I guess he could've meant he wanted to coaching on his sex-life and relationship, but I didn't take the chance, said a scandalised "No it doesn't" at which point he rapidly lost interest.

The delights of complementary therapy :-)

Joy
Angela Rawlins
Jun 4 2009 5:45PM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I thought is was only massage that attracted them!!

Are we in the wrong business:)) Think we should be in mental health!!

A friend of mine works in the caring profession - WELL - they don't get any better when they're older either!! She has to wash them. She got one character, shall we say, who touched her up!
Rose Horwell
Jun 4 2009 5:56PM
Initially I got a call asking about the massage ( I do Swedish) He said he just wanted to relax and had been to the gym and had achy legs as he had been doing a lot of squats. (Sounded fine I thought) ...so I fixed a time with him and he was going to clarify this the next morning ... he then sent me one saying he likes it relaxing and sensual ... but then wasn't available for a while as he was suddenly in a meeting. I left a message stating it was a non-sexual massage.. he still didn't get it, in fact he then asked if I can "brush" past his privates ... I said no, he seemed a bit put out but it goes to show it can take a few conversations with a male or I guess female to sometimes get to the bottom of what they are actually expecting!)

I just find it a bit deflating when they continue to tell me they have seeked me out on "Embody".

Thanks to all who have replied.
Angela Rawlins
Jun 4 2009 6:02PM
Hi

I think CThA should put something on the profiles saying that our therapists will report any callers of a sexual nature.
Rose Horwell
Jun 4 2009 7:25PM
Thats a very good idea.

Angela Rawlins
Jun 4 2009 9:00PM
email sent
Angela Rawlins
Jun 5 2009 5:06PM
Hi

It seems that the CThA cannot put a statement on all profiles,but you may put one on your own if there is a problem of this kind.
Rose Horwell
Jun 6 2009 8:43AM
Thanks Angela

Have already added a note under my profile now, I don't know why I didn't just do that before..
Beth Reynolds
Jul 6 2009 10:32PM
Hi,

I have also received such a call. I had a guy ring & enquire about massage, but my gut instinct said there was something not quite right. And then he asked if I did sensual massage, I every politely said NO. I was so angry afterwards, and took the whole thing very personally. If that wasn't bad enough, he called back 3 days later. I wasn't sure intially if it was the same guy, but then the old gut instinct kicked in again......I ended the conversation, but not before he asked me if I did 'hand relief'. I was so offended, and really mad at the fact I have spent alot of time and money on professional qualifications, website and branding, and then I go and get a call like that.

Why are they bothering us when they could go so many other places and get that type of 'service'.

Makes me want to go and scrub my skin.....
Angela Rawlins
Jul 7 2009 8:39AM
It's so upsetting to get those kind of call. My husband told me to phone the poice. I got a really nice policeman who told me to get a sports whistle:)) Put it by the phone and blow it with all my might!!

I suggest trying 1471 to see if you get a number, you never know, they may be foolish enough to forget to hide it. Report it to the police, you can also call BT who can trace numbers if 'they' are phoning more than once.

Put a message on your CThA site.

Good luck
Neville Dalton
Jul 30 2009 3:02PM
I can quite understand why some of you are offended by getting such enquiries.
Even as a male therapist, I have received one (though not via my Embody listing) - from a man.

It was a bit of a surprise, as I never expected such approaches from men or women.

But I have to say, it never occurred to me to report it to the police. He was polite, slightly tentative, but retreated embarrassed when I politely - but rather more firmly - refused his request.

I can quite understand practitioners being put out at receiving such enquiries when they have gone to the trouble of presenting a professional front.

But there is certainly no crime - or, I believe, harm - in these people enquiring over the phone - unless there is more to the conversations than some of the correspondents above have let on.

Surely a quick no over the phone before hanging up is preferable to clients making such overtures at the clinic, as it seems at least one of our colleagues endured.

Of course, if the caller persisted, that is another matter. But while we're not in the business of providing such treatments (and for many of us males it's hard enough attracting business in the first place!), I think it's a bit much to react quite so vehemently to a polite enquiry.

As others have said, though, a precautionary explanatory note on your listing might well avoid the occurrence anyway.
Angela Rawlins
Jul 31 2009 8:56PM
Hi Neville

I hear what you say, but I think other 'lady' complementary therapists would rather be taken as professionals and not in that type of profession.

I think you have to be extremely careful where you advertise as unfortunately massage also has another profile. I must add that I do not practice massage. I have had only one comment about reflexology, which I do practice.

Ladies, you can always only accept women or gents that are known to you if that is what you want, Of course that might limit your clientele - not offending you hopefully Neville:))

You can't always guarantee what type of client you get through your door. When I first set up in 97', my husband challenged me about treating men at the time I would have been only too glad to have any client! But, it did make me look at personal safety.

I decided to only treat men after 5pm when my son was in the house or when my husband was in. There was one or two errors when I had booked them in and realised I would be alone, so, I had the tv or radio on in another room.
Tonia Parsons
Sep 9 2009 4:55PM
Can I just add to all your comments I have luckily enough in all my 10 years or so as a therapist never encountered anyone like you all seemed to have.
I once naivley went to a therapist that was a male in my early days and found him a little over zealous with his 'water bed massage thingy that I can't remember what the professional term for it was now' anyway it is way in the back of my mind now...
However I have been doing massage therapy for mental health users/clients for 2years now and never had any trouble at all. It will be even better for us if we link up to this CNHC as Doctors will have the confidence to refer their patients to us via finding us on the website and we will have the confidence to add in to our consultation sheets that Confidentiality could be broken if our Safety is Compromised in anyway? that's not a quote but I think it's mentioned in someway in the CNHC Code of Conduct...it's something I'm looking into working with on the mobile therapy work I do with Joint Partnership working of Richmond & Twickenham PCT and London Borough Of Richmond upon Thames Council....all early days.
Tonia
SWLondon Group Coordinator and Mobile Therapist mainly for RBMind Voluntary and Funded.
Angela Rawlins
Sep 13 2009 9:01AM
Hi Tonia

Lovely to hear that you work with mental health patients and the PCT, I have a relative in care. They touch therapy so much. How ever, we will never get referrals from doctors.
Angela Rawlins
Sep 13 2009 9:01AM
Hi Tonia

Lovely to hear that you work with mental health patients and the PCT, I have a relative in care. They touch therapy so much. How ever, we will never get referrals from doctors.

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